There is a dark side to the real estate education business that isn’t talked about nearly enough.
Sometimes the person teaching you can become the biggest risk in your business.
Think about the position we put teachers and mentors in.
We tell them what we’re struggling with. We show them our deals. We tell them our ideas. We introduce them to people. Sometimes we invest with them. Sometimes we JV with them.
And because they’re the “expert,” we tend to assume they’re also someone we can trust.
Those are NOT the same thing.
Someone can know a tremendous amount about real estate…and still be a crappy human being.
That’s why I’d look at something besides knowledge before choosing someone to learn from.
I’d look at character.
And that’s harder to measure.
Anybody can make themselves look good on social media. Anybody can post testimonials. Anybody can show you their successful students. Anybody can stand in front of a big house or an expensive car and tell you how successful they are.
So what should you actually look for?
Here are a few things I’d pay attention to.
How do they make their money?
There’s nothing wrong with making money teaching. I do it.
But does this person actually practice what they’re teaching, or has teaching people how to make money with real estate become the primary way THEY make money?
That’s worth knowing.
What happens after you give them your money?
Are you still important, or are you immediately being pushed toward the next program, mastermind, inner circle, or upsell?
A good teacher should want you to actually USE what you already bought…first.
How do they handle their students’ opportunities?
If you’re showing someone a deal because you trust them, that shouldn’t suddenly become their opportunity.
If you’re sharing an idea inside a supposedly safe community, you shouldn’t have to wonder whether somebody above you is going to take it, repackage it, and sell it.
Trust matters.
Be especially careful about doing business WITH the person teaching you.
This topic doesn’t get nearly enough attention.
The teacher/student relationship already has an imbalance.
One person has the experience, audience, resources, and perceived authority. The other person came there specifically because they need help.
Now add money. A JV. Private lending. An equity partnership.
Suddenly your teacher isn’t just advising you anymore.
They’re on the other side of a business transaction with you.
That doesn’t automatically make it wrong. I’ve partnered with students.
But if you’re going to partner with your teacher, there are some questions I’d want answered BEFORE the deal gets done.
First…
Is there even a written agreement?
If not, stop right there.
I don’t care how much you trust somebody…I don’t care how successful they are…I don’t care how many followers they have…I don’t care how many times they’ve called you “family.”
Put the deal in writing…then READ the dang thing.
Who controls the partnership? Who gets to make decisions? Who controls the money? Who decides when distributions are made?
Can they bring in additional partners or dilute your interest? Can they do business with themselves or affiliated companies?
Can you sell your interest? Can you get out? What happens if you disagree?
What obligations do YOU have? What obligations do THEY have?
And here’s a big one:
Does the agreement actually require them to do the things you think they’ve promised you?
Don’t just look at what percentage you supposedly own. Look at what that ownership actually gives you.
You can be called a “partner” all day long and still have virtually no control over anything.
“Partner” is a relationship word. The agreement tells you what you actually are.
Read that again…because it is important.
“Partner” is a relationship word. The agreement tells you what you actually are.
And if the agreement gives one side nearly all the control, nearly all the discretion, and all the ways out…while you get most of the restrictions and most of the risk…maybe that’s the moment to rethink the partnership.
Don’t let admiration for the teacher keep you from evaluating the deal like a businessperson.
If it’s a fair deal, it should still look fair after you remove the teacher/student relationship from it.
Watch how disagreement is handled.
This might be one of the biggest tells.
Can students question the teacher? Can somebody say, “I don’t think that’s right”? Can problems be discussed openly…or does every uncomfortable conversation become “negativity”?
There’s a big difference between keeping a community positive and keeping a community quiet.
If criticism constantly disappears, I’d want to know why.
Pay attention to how they treat people who can do nothing for them.
Employees. Former students. Competitors. Beginners. The person asking the “stupid” question.
Character tends to show up when there isn’t a sale attached to the interaction.
And here’s another one…
Does everything have to revolve around them?
Good teachers create capable students. Bad ones create dependency.
Eventually, you should need your teacher LESS.
You should develop your own judgment. Your own relationships. Your own ideas. Your own business.
If the ecosystem is designed so every road eventually leads back to the teacher, another product, another fee, or another partnership… pay attention.
Now, let me be fair.
Crap happens.
I heard an analogy recently that I loved:
Biting your tongue while you’re eating is a perfect example of how you can screw up something you have a LOT of experience doing.
Think about it. You’ve been chewing food your entire life. Thousands and thousands of meals.
You’re pretty dang experienced at it.
And every once in a while…
CHOMP.
You bite the crap out of your tongue.
Experience doesn’t make you incapable of making mistakes.
I’ve been doing real estate for a long time. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve had deals go wrong. I’ve had people unhappy with me.
Anyone who has been in business long enough will. So don’t look for a teacher with a perfect record. That person doesn’t exist.
The question isn’t whether they’ve ever screwed up.
The question is what they do AFTER they screw up.
Do they own it? Do they try to make it right? Do they learn from it?
Or do they blame somebody else, take absolutely no responsibility, and keep moving?
Mistakes are inevitable. Patterns are different.
That’s important.
One unhappy student doesn’t make somebody a bad teacher. One partnership that went sideways doesn’t make somebody dishonest. One bad deal doesn’t erase 20 years of good ones.
And don’t automatically believe every complaint you read online.
There are three sides to plenty of those stories.
But if you start seeing the same kinds of complaints…from different people…at different times…about the same behavior.
Pay attention.
That’s no longer about expecting perfection. That’s information.
Ultimately, I’d look for something much simpler.
Look for a good person.
Someone who admits when they’re wrong. Someone who fixes things when they can. Someone who doesn’t need to win every transaction. Someone who doesn’t take advantage of the fact that they know more than you do.
Someone whose private behavior seems reasonably consistent with the person they present publicly.
Someone who wants you to become successful enough that eventually you don’t need them anymore.
Knowledge matters. Experience matters. Results matter.
But if you’re choosing somebody you’re going to trust with your education, your deals, your money, your ideas, and potentially your reputation…character matters more.
Because the most expensive lesson a mentor ever teaches you might have absolutely nothing to do with real estate.
Choose carefully.
